The Day I Thought I Might Lose My Baby

On Monday morning, as I was getting ready to bring Hannah for her play group, I noticed spotting followed by mild cramps.  Things didn’t feel quite right and made an appointment to meet my gynaecologist that morning.

From the Cardiotocography (CTG) test, the report showed that the baby’s heart rate was higher than normal.  A normal foetal heart rate is between 110-150 bpm.  Baby’s was between 160-200bpm.  I was experiencing mild contractions as well.  The gynaecologist was worried that this could be a sign that the baby’s in distress, and preterm labour.

I was advised to admit into a hospital for monitoring.  My mind went blank while I sat at the clinic waiting for the nurses to make the necessary arrangements.  Hannah wasn’t sure what had happened but she knew something wasn’t right.  She kept asking, “Mama, are you feeling better?”

The little girl must have felt she had done something wrong to land her mother in a clinic.  She apologised for not being able to attend play group, for not listening to instructions and for running around in the clinic.  I fought hard to keep my emotions together.  I didn’t know how to explain to Hannah what had happened, and could only assure her that it wasn’t her fault.

As I waited, I overheard a young couple asking a nurse to confirm if their baby was a boy or girl.  Although the gynaecologist mentioned there was a possibility it could be a boy, it was too early to tell.  The couple went on asking to enlarge the ultrasound scan for confirmation, and a copy of the scan showing the “dangle”.  They were determined to have a baby boy.

It was such an irony! Here I am holding on to every shred of hope that my baby will pull through, and there they were bickering over their baby’s gender.

By afternoon, I was in hospital strapped to a CTG machine for 2 hours.  I continued to notice spotting throughout my stay.  But the kind encouragement of nurses and the prayers of friends helped tremendously.  We continued to pray for baby’s health and remained positive.

I was discharged yesterday morning after another CTG test showed positive results.  The baby’s heart rate was normal, and there were no signs of contractions.  Praise God!  I did, however, have spotting but it’s a lot less frequent.

I’ve been on bed rest, minimising physical activities and napping as much as possible.  I’m thankful that my parents-in-law were able to take care of Hannah these couple of days as I recuperate. And every evening, I try to cuddle Hannah as often as I can; assuring her that everything will be alright.

Linking up with: