The First Few Weeks…I Have A New Sibling

I’m back again!  Time sure flies…Elijah’s turning a month old next week.  It’s scary realising how time just whizz by.

Friends have been asking how things have been with the new addition to the family.  I’ve been coping by…really, just coping by.  There are good moments and bad ones.  While I see moms posting smiling faces of their preschooler and the newborn on Facebook, reading the loving things the older sibling does for the younger one.  I’m experiencing the complete opposite.

Managing Hannah has been a roller-coaster ride.  She could be hugging her brother one moment, the next she’s demanding me to kiss her “ouchie” now as I try to comfort the baby.  I feel as if I’m fire-fighting throughout the day, rather than being control of each moment.

I wonder how the other moms do it? I’ve read countless articles on easing the new sibling transition but I’ve not been able to put them into practice (not when the baby is crying for milk and the older one is whining for attention).

People have told me to tend to the older one first but I just can’t hear Elijah’s wailing…I’ve tried.  Some said that we should ask the older sibling what we should do if the baby’s crying (the ideal response from the child is to carry the baby).  Sometimes the answer is, “Nothing.  Mama, just play with me.”

First Few Weeks - Reading to Baby

There are, of course, good times when Hannah plays the big sister.  She reads to her brother, sings to him, helps wash him up.   This is one of those good times.  It’s not easy to capture a picture when both are happy.  One is usually irritable and fussy, the other sulky or teary.

By evening, I’m exhausted!  Bedtime is a challenge.  Hannah’s always try to delay her bedtime routine, and I can’t get the baby to drink properly without dozing off on my boob.  To friends who posted lovely pictures of their kids smiling in bed, please enlighten me on what I’m doing wrong.

Oh, and let’s not talk about the condition of the house…or the amount of dust bunnies under the bed.

As I sign off to clear that vomit on the floor, I’d welcome any help and tips! 😉

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Published by

Dawn @ Homeschool Crafts

Mom. Blogger. Homeschooler.

14 thoughts on “The First Few Weeks…I Have A New Sibling”

  1. You are doing great! I think all those people you talked about who post pictures of a bright and sunny world are full of it. Having two children is a challenge. There is no “right” way to do things. The first few (6?) months were so hard. Things are easier now that my youngest is almost a year and a half. The two of them play together or play by themselves, and a let me have some time to maybe clean the kitchen, or vacuum, but not both. But it’s still hard because my son is still nursing, and my daughter needs me to kiss her boo-boo, too. And my son won’t sleep in his own bed. He has to be with Mommy. Nursing. All. Night. Long. You are doing great! It does get easier, but it’s all about finding a balance with your children. Maybe that means trying to include your daughter in the baby’s routine, having her be Mommy’s Big Helper. Or maybe finding 10 minutes each day for some special time with just you and her, snuggling on the couch, coloring, or sharing a snack. It might take some time and some experimentation, but things will settle down. You are doing great!

  2. It is so hard at first. But it sounds like you are doing a great job! It won’t be this overwhelming forever. One thing that I tell my older daughter is that I’m taking care of the baby like I used to take care of her. I hope that my toddler will at least feel confident that I listened to her baby cries.

  3. What you experience is normal. Don’t get deceive by all the posting on social media. We usually post the good things right? All the struggle behind who knows except ourselves.

    Just go easy on yourselves. When I had my first boy, I insisted he don’t fall asleep while on my boob, as what we all read online. But this doesn’t only make him fussy and he soon refuse my boob. I learn to just go with the flow. When I had my 2nd kid, I didn’t bother about not letting her fall asleep at my boob, especially at night. I just went with my instinct. They turn out fine. They didn’t had any issues when I need to stop latching and breast feeding. Of course not all kids are the same, but I think we should take things one step at a time and see what work best for everyone.

    Hang in there and good luck!

  4. I love this HONEST portrayal of adjusting to life with a baby and a little one. It is NOT easy. Not for anybody. Bedtime = struggle, and the reason we post pics of our kids smiling in bed is because it’s never happened before and we are ecstatic. Ha! My best tip is this: one task at a time. I used to drop whatever I was doing the moment either child fussed. Now they wait while I finish one thing before I move on to their request. Otherwise, I found that I got 100 things half-done and nothing actually done at all. ALSO, standards flee when you have a newborn in the house. You get a pass at every single thing. Third, accept all help offered to you.
    OH, and I LOVE it when the baby dozes off on the breast b/c it makes it easier to put him to bed. I don’t care what the experts say. When it comes to newborns, the only rule is feed ’em and keep ’em cozy.
    You sound like you are doing a great job and will be totally fine. Hang in there and do your best to enjoy the chaos and adorableness. I’ll try to find a link to one of my posts where I said a lot of this same stuff for you! It’s an EXHAUSTING phase! Thankfully, it’s just a phase. It really will get easier….eventually.

  5. Can totally understand your struggles with new siblings in the family. As much as we love seeing lovely dovey moments between the siblings, there is an inevitable time of adjustment especially for the older one. My top tip is to take it a day at a time and accept all the extended family and friends’ help at this time. It will make things so much manageable. And just close your eyes on the dust. They will settle themselves (later). 😉 Jia u Mommy! You are doing an excellent work! 🙂

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